mmmmm...

i'm such a kid when it comes to everything xD

korean part 2..

드디어....
나는 또 나의 옛날 사람으로 됐다..
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
왠지 웃음을 못 참고있는중...
하하하하하하하하하하하하!!!!!
내가 완전히 돌아 버려구나
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
뭐, 이제 나 한테는 이제 마음이나 사랑도 없는 사람.....
사랑하고 십음 마음도 없으니까
왜?
내가 그렇게 하다가 내가 좋아하는 사람을 또 다치게 할수있을니까

korean for this...

참나.... ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 이렇게 까지 힘들게 할수있다는거 진짜 오늘로 처음인가??
아니.....
내 마음이 지금 나하고 장난하자는거지....
내가 지금 왜 이러냐고?? 그건...
내 엑스 여자친구 때문이라고 할수도있는거지...
내가 아직도 사랑하면서 버린 나....
내 머리가... 나를 이렇게... 만들어 버리다니......
꼭 그 노래 같내.. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
"에반- 머리와 심장이 싸우다" 완전히... 날 말하고있잔아
어째든... 그래서 나는 내가 사랑하는 사람을 버리고 말았고, 그 애의 느낌도 안 물어보고 그냥 내 마음대로.... 내 친구들 말이 맞았어...
뭐... 이제 그겄도 과거... 그냥 버리면 돼는 거라고 생각했는대.... 아냐... 내 마음이 아직도 계를 생각하고있어... 왜?! 왜!? 왜냐고?!!!!!!!!!!! 나는 지금 까지도 너를 버렸다고 생각했는대... 왜 너만 보면 내 마음이 찌져지지? 어떻게 하면 너를 버릴수있냐고?!
내가 아직도 너를 생각 하면서 내 마음에 두고있다가... 나중에는 내가 너를 또 아프게 할거 같은 생각 자체도 싫어..... 뭐를 도대채 어떻게 하면.........
이렇게 말하면서 한가지 생각이 난다...
그거야... 내 마음을 완전 없에는거....
그렇게 한다는 거는 완전히 어려운걸 내가 알고 있지만....
너를 버리술만 있은면... 내 자신을 먼저 버려라지......
사랑과 행복... 그겄들도 이제 나의 과거.. 다 버리면서.......
그리고 아픔.... 그걸 내가 완전히 버려야지..
내가 원하는 걸 얻을수 있어.
그게 거이 뭐냐고?
내 자신을 싫어하고 내가 좋아 할라고 하는 여자 애들도... 이제 내 장난감 처럼 버려 버렸지....
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
그럼 나는 이제 완전히 죽은 사람??
행복,사랑, 그리고 아픔....
그거를 버린다.... 완전히 마이너스 생각이구먼....
뭐 이걸로 오늘은 끝......
그리고 이 글을 잃수있는 사람들은 아마........
한명 안그럼 두명??
나도 모름
어쪃든 ㅃㅃ다~~~~~
좋은 날 가지삼
그리고 나는 이제 새로 태어난 사람이네...ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
마지막으로...
사랑했었어 케트린... 하지만 이제는 우리 둘이는 남 남....
제발.... 나 같은 남자 사귀지 말고....
나보다 더 좋고.... 마음이 흔들리지 않은 남자 사겨...
뭐 내가 그딴 말 할 자격은 없지만, 이게 진짜로 이별이다...
너하고 같이 있었던 날은 행복했었어...
그럼 ㅃㅃ 마음아..... 내 사랑......
내가 내가 다시 사랑을 할거면... 아마 조금 오래 갈꺼 같에.....
그러니까 그 꼬마 티파니 좋아 한다는 말은 쥡어 취우고

fkc it....

screw the so called dad....
he doesnt know any shit about wats happening and thinks money is all important...
yea..
money is sooo good that u'll even sell ur own sons huh..
well this is wat i'm saying...
u.... r not known as dad or i wont even consider u as dad now...

the day

today was somewhat the most fun day i think i ever had..... even though the parade was the time killing, but the carnival in there was the bomb!! i was able to spend time with my gf and have a lot of fun :). well, it's not something to brag about to write it in her, but it was rly fun and liked it how she was having fun. since her parents doesnt let her out that much so i can't rly easoy with her, but i was feeling rly happy about how i how she was able to get herself back to smile like that, wanting to go more xD
well, i just hope that once more, i wish i was able to stay with her the whole day and show her all the fun around

OH DANG~~ it's been super long....

lol... 59 more min... till the day i hate starts... not the late day itself, but something else..
well, i guesss since i didnt go on for super long time, imma as well write something as i'm in this blog. I've been actually having some fine time in all of my classes but having a little bit of trouble at the Ap bio class since i dont even study or do wat Seko tells me to do.... wat a lazy guy i've become now... i mean, more of a lazy guy x]. so all of the things r going nicely except for the Ap bio..... and i guess that'll be all for the day since i have to read some more of AP euro cause they'll be essay test tmrw

3rd and THE LAST DAY

today was the last day of our HELL... YAY!!! well, now all i need to do is to worry about my summer plan WITH AP bio. o well... that'll come when the time is right for me to worry about. but today, it isn't that exciting for some reason even though i liked the fact that it was the end of school day..hmmmm..... i wonder y. o well. it was just too plain boring that i was about to sleep until this graduate called me out and asked to play with me. but i guess i must be a person that kills boredom for others cause jimmy suddenly calls me and asks me to go to PC bang since he was sooo bored. hahaha. well, in with my graduate, we just went to academy that i used to go, and where he works, it was some wat boring, but we managed to kill a lot of time.... i was like o dang... time went by super fast that i dont even know what happened. well, everything was basically like this but idk since imma go outside again with that same person. but i think imma be going to practice break dancing or just going to play basketball OR karaoke. well, adiue ppl. might upload for some more

2nd day of final and grad. night

Today was like the boring-est day for the final. because all i had was to just take health final which looked like a common sense in the test. anyways, after the test was over, i just slept through the whole thing and there it was, the PINK SLIP for my DMV permit. after that, it was band for me, which there was NO final at all. like all we needed to do was just play around and wait until the school is over. after the whole thing, i went to chipotle, which was the bomb and then, i went to grad. the grad night, which was like the bomb, is something i might not be able to forget. because the seniors treated me to dinner and then later went to yogurtland. there i happened to meet someone rly unexpected. i doubt that person will know me, but oh well who cares. the seniors later decided to go for karaoke, but i was tired and i needed to study, so here i am. writing this blog and studying like some idiot trying to get things done in last min. o and tmrw, imma try making fun of seko of how he liked graduation ceremony. well, adios people. gl to u ppl who's taking finals tmrw too

FINALS~~

Today's final is somewhat BAAADDDD. stupid spanish and math. i somehow blanked out in math and i didnt even know why i did. for spanish, stupid garrido...... -.- he had to put history on the final and that is not all. HE GAVE US A FRKN "OFF THE PACKET" HISTORY QUESTION THAT NONE OF US KNEW? it felt like he was trying to fail all of us. i mean ALL OF THE KIDS IN HIS CLASS. well, the best part was that we didnt do any of the listening, but now i'm getting a little worried? well, thnx to no listening, the grading system is off my head and need to RECALCULATE....... well, talk about recalculate, math was rly hard for me. wonder y........ <_> never had it this tough. but then again, i wanna see if my luck is still strong and if i could keep my streak of ALL B's for all the semester grades. and now tmrw, is HEALTH!!! -_-x the one that i hate the most, and the only class that kids at least 200~300 question.... gonna be tiring, but o well. it's going ot be only health and 6th period is band so i don't need to do anything for that day. and comes the graduation for the seniors. 우랄라~~~~ this means taht the seniors might be treating me for dinner tmrw? i'm not sure but it'll be fun tmrw. the seniors grad, calls for the party time! :D

싫다 싫어......
다 싫어.
숙제, 학교, 인생.......
다 싫어..
특기 내 자신.......
몸이 아파도 억지로 움지이는 나
싫다 싫어
다 싫어...
내 자신을 못 찾는 나......
다시 한번도 똑 같은 생각으로
기분 더러워지면...
싫다 싫어
다 싫어......
너무 싫어서 내가 지금 뭘하는지도 모르는나
그냥 없어져라

O.o

back since i had forgot about it?

overdid

How annoying.........
i overdid my push-ups and look wat happened to me.....
all my body is aching and i wont be able to move clearly for a while thanks to those push-ups.
but HEy, i made a new record =D
past 250 push-ups in one day

=[=

Another boring day today...... it feels like as if the whole weekends and other days r like all boring to me and nothing more. But today, there happens to be something funny about wat happened XD.I had a dream about me going back to my middle school with all my other friends that i had made in my 7th and 8th grade year. i was having pretty much fun with my friends and didnt notice taht that girl was there toooo. well, i really didnt notice her even though all of us were sitting in the same table and same place. guess i was having too much fun with others that i didnt even hear her or see her. but then, as we were all hanging around, guess i must have taken notice of her. but then, the funny thing is, i couldn't see her well due to me not wanting to remember her? i dont really know that much about it, but i knew one thing that she wouldn't even give anything about me due to what i did taht time. so, as we were in the MPR, we were all sitting down and i happened to be moving around place to place for no reason. then suddenly, me and her met each other eye to eye (even though i dont remember her face cleary) and all she said was this with her smile saying, 'Hi Joseph.' and that was when i woke up from my dream entirely and said this to myself. 'What a weird dream and said that dreams wont come true cause i dont have dreams at all.' While i said all those, i said this tooo. syronara. well, thats what happened mostly to my dream. imma be updating this part more later since i need to sleep

ㅇ.ㅇ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 진짜로......

나는 정말 겁쟁이 같에 ㅜ.ㅜ

왜냐고????

내가 알고있는 친구는 이런거 다 하면서 다시 한번도 친구로 하자는데.........

내가 내 자신을 보면서 참으로 이런 겁쟁이가 남자라고 살았나?????????

아 짱나......

나는 아직도.......... 아직도....... 아직도!!!!!!!!!

용서를 못구했다. 

내 친구는 나보고 내가 분며이 아무 잘못도 없다고 했는데, 근데 나는 알고있다.........

내 자신, 나의 배신감...........

참으로 지금 내가 내 자신을 웃고있내

하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하!!!!!!!!

이런 진짜로.... 나는 왜 이렇게 겁을 먹으면서 그 사람을 피하고 있을가???

역시 이게 나의 진짜 모습일까?????????

무섭다, 못하겠다, 배신, 그리고 자기가 잘났는주 아는나.....

이렇게 생각을 하면 왠지 나는 내가 배신을 했던 애들이 맛는거 같에..............

진짜로 내가 내 자신을 보면 미친놈이라고 할수있는거 같에.......

btw, for those ppl who cant read this, sry about that since i had the urge of writing in korean.

but if u want to know, i guess ask the ppl who R korean

Story

For today, i had felt like i wanted to write a story since i had remembered something things and how i had been like regretting for some stuff.....

    Once upon, there was guy and girl. These ppl were like the closest friend that they could ever imagine and no one would be able to break them apart from there never lasting bond. until one day, there was a fight between them and that it had made a fuss of them not talking to eacher other for months and months until the guy decided to apologize to her and ask for her forgiveness. but then, the girl didnt give the guy any forgiveness nor accepted the apology, but treated him , coldly..... The guy at first thought like this, "all right then. If ur going to be like that, then i dont need you tooo" and went off. As the guy was going to his college year, he had made new friends and also had a fun time until he started to remember something that he had never wanted to remember in his life. It was the memory of his ex-bestest friend, which he remembered how much fun he had. soon, the guy was in pain inside of him cursing himself of y did i needed to remember that, and y does she come to my mind again? i thought i had erased all of the memory about her...... but as the time went, the guy had started to regret of the things that had happen. it was taht he couldnt forget the happy times he had fun with his best friend in the past and wanted to get back to normal like being friends. So, he had asked her friends if he they know her phone number and everything to get in a contact with her. As soon as he had found her phone number and her adress, the guy went to her house and asked her to come out cause he wanted to tell her something. But same as usual, the girl had treated him coldly and told him taht i dont want to seee ur face and told the guy to go away. As soon as the guy heard that, he had finally realized taht between her and him, there is a wall that she created to block him off and a path of no way for them to cross again. In the same time, the guy was saying this taht we should have never met and went off to his own path......... 

The reason taht the guy and the girl had a fight was that the guy had betrayed her trust by doing something that he shouldnt have done............. so now, their relationship has been crushed and no way to restore unless the girl lets the guy have another chance. Also, the reason taht he had been reminded of the past was how his friend had acted somewat like her..... But as soon as he went to apologize again, the girl had built a long and never-ending wall that makes her and him to never cross again. but even though, the guy never forget about her, but the girl didnt really care about him since she thought that best friends could be replaced..........

For this story, i guess to some ppl they might think that 'o o his talking about me and things like that' but its not. i didnt include anybody in here but just a story that i had made up cause of the talks we did today. and also, this story is just a fiction so its nothing like something that u guys should be thinking about but enjoy the story :D just enjoy it XD

[==[?

For today's blog that imma be writing right now is about something stupid???? XDDD. well, i dont really know wat to write about and i was in a real boredom so i'm gonna be writing any kind of random thing so i could at least get myself out of this lame boredom XXD. so basically, today, it felt like i had the worst day in life time cause of 2 miles in the morning and then 2 tests...... -.- i thought i was gonna fail all of those test cause i didnt study for anything (which was basically my fault). so about the 2 test, one was bio and which it was hard as hell cause of that stupid answer the questions.............. the next thing is my math test, which i hate it cause i never did like math in anyways after 8th grade year........ i thought i was doing it right, then comes to me taht i did a lot of things wrong and now, its like pissing me offf cause i messed it up D: well, other then that, there was mostly nothing else but the school being the same old fashion and me sleeping in my classes except for my 2nd and 3rd period class today. i was amazed of how i didnt even fall asleep in those boring classes like i usually do. Also, today happened to be so hot that i felt stupid? 0.0 for playing basketball in that hot scorching sun and getting all sweaty as if i need to take a shower fast or i'll be all smellly XXDD. most of all, i felt like i had learned something new about myself after all the things i had and comparing it to the things that the other kids had... and it feels like i'm going to be throwing that useless me away and start again as if i had nothing onto me to worry about XD. and for the rest of day, guess i could say it did suck since i had no way to talk to my friends since my AIM was fcked up again like usual and i had to use the ones taht i got hacked or some rly stupid AIM. well, i guess this story is rly stupid and i'll be try to write more so i could at least make a lot of memories here when i grow old?? 0.0 dont know since i never did liked anything so lets see if i am gonna be able to grow old

T.T

wow. it felt like a long time since i didnt write my blog for a long time XD. guess that means i had nothing to write or something like that???? well i dont really care since i doubt that anybody will be reading this thing since they might not even bother checking mine cause i never go on or write anything 0_0. well, for today and the other past days like the winter vacation, i had pretty much fun time but also, some gay times right now --x. it was that i lost something important, again like it feels like i dont deserve something like this and i pretty much gave up on it and didnt want it to get it back or try to look for it................ It has been the only thing that i wanted to try to keep it, but it doesnt seem like it'll last forever D: well, in the mean time, i think i was kinda depressed as if i had nothing else again and i in the same time, next time, next time i get it back, i'll put it in somewhere safe, not with me since i'm afraid of losing it again.................................. how scary it is. and now, i'm even scared about how i dont even know myself and i'm writing allll the stupidest things ever in this blog, to expresss my own feelings so i could feel lighter..... guess this is like my own personal diary for me. also, the good part that has happened to me in winter vacation is that i get to meet up with my friends and hang out at his house, and then going to karoake :D it was fun to go there. but right now, the present me right now, i'm still thinking about wat happened with that important thing that had kept me together. also, i dont even know my ownself now after wat had happened. it feels like just wat am i doing right now and wat am i doing like making things more useless to myself by giving myself negative things and all thsoe kinds that could happen to me if i kept on saying it.............. but then, for now, i guess i'm back to my plain old old old old self, which some of them knows.. and this sure is the longest one that i had ever written with some useless story in it XD