T.T

wow. it felt like a long time since i didnt write my blog for a long time XD. guess that means i had nothing to write or something like that???? well i dont really care since i doubt that anybody will be reading this thing since they might not even bother checking mine cause i never go on or write anything 0_0. well, for today and the other past days like the winter vacation, i had pretty much fun time but also, some gay times right now --x. it was that i lost something important, again like it feels like i dont deserve something like this and i pretty much gave up on it and didnt want it to get it back or try to look for it................ It has been the only thing that i wanted to try to keep it, but it doesnt seem like it'll last forever D: well, in the mean time, i think i was kinda depressed as if i had nothing else again and i in the same time, next time, next time i get it back, i'll put it in somewhere safe, not with me since i'm afraid of losing it again.................................. how scary it is. and now, i'm even scared about how i dont even know myself and i'm writing allll the stupidest things ever in this blog, to expresss my own feelings so i could feel lighter..... guess this is like my own personal diary for me. also, the good part that has happened to me in winter vacation is that i get to meet up with my friends and hang out at his house, and then going to karoake :D it was fun to go there. but right now, the present me right now, i'm still thinking about wat happened with that important thing that had kept me together. also, i dont even know my ownself now after wat had happened. it feels like just wat am i doing right now and wat am i doing like making things more useless to myself by giving myself negative things and all thsoe kinds that could happen to me if i kept on saying it.............. but then, for now, i guess i'm back to my plain old old old old self, which some of them knows.. and this sure is the longest one that i had ever written with some useless story in it XD